A three years dream

When I went to my first AIESEC departmental meeting, I contemplated my participation in this "club" (or as I knew it back then). I deliberated on how long it would take me to lose interest in everything they were saying. I couldn't understand why we needed to spend 15 minutes discussing the organisational essence, I couldn't understand all the theoretical and big dreams they were talking about. I was ready to give up, but remembering the one-year commitment, I told myself to give it a chance. Hey, who knows how will things turn out at the end of the road?

The first few months were confusing for me, both as a member of AIESEC and as a student. As the world was plagued by the pandemic unprepared, so was AIESEC. So were many systems they were used to or projects they have been running up to date. AIESEC is famous for its flagship global exchanges in the form of volunteering or internship, but with the massive global lockdown, what were we to rely on to continue our operation? AIESEC in Malaysia chanced upon an opportunity in disguise. The organisation took a step to revamp the entire way projects were run and lay low, searching for a better rebound into reality and current context. The confusing six months resulted in many of my peers from the same batch leaving. Still, surprisingly, those of us from the same project stayed, despite how unhealthy our initial experience was.

We never really spoke of why we continued the journey till much later, and to sum up, it all goes back to the word "ambition". Regardless of whether it was a personal or a selfless dream, my peers and I had an ambition - because the experience was below satisfaction, we decided to take things into our hands and reshape the entire story. They applied for higher roles in AIESEC, while myself? I took the leap of faith into another product AIESEC ran - global internships. It was a different story altogether, generating company leads and trying to set up meetings and partnerships with them. If I had decided to pause my experience in the initial project and put a full stop to my AIESEC journey just there, I wouldn't be able to say this now - it was another exponential spike in my ownership of the organisation.

AIESEC taught me the definition of "ownership". I like to define myself as a responsible individual who takes full charge of my life and ambitions, but being in AIESEC, I took a liking for the word "ownership" because it reshapes the way I see things and set up a multitude of reasons for it. Having ownership isn't just about being accountable for your responsibilities; it is about finding a reason and relevance; it is about setting up a dream and finding methods to achieve it. Towards the end of my first year in AIESEC, I took another leap of faith (coughs, lots of leap of faith) to jump from a member layer and apply to the role of Vice President (VP).

The thing about this place; is that they provide equal opportunities for those willing to take matters into hand and for those who are competent for the roles they seek. I was (and still am) blessed by a lot of luck and fortune, having a predecessor who not only transited every ounce of his knowledge to me but concurrently acted as an advisor, counsellor, friend and big brother I could rely on. He was always around to guide me out of a possible emotional torment during the first few months of my VP term, and funnily enough, we never really met in real life. Still, despite our four-hour time zone difference, I felt a close friendship budding.

I met one of my lifelong best friends here, who gave me solace and understanding as we grew through confusing pains together. We shared a dream, and we worked towards it. If she hadn't given me the faith and trust to "grow my empire and ambitions", there wouldn't have been this much steadfast growth in my journey. A couple of other people shaped the journey; funnily enough, it's always the people who change things. It was the people who kept me here, and it is the people who prompted my growth, and the people whom I grew to love, yearn to safeguard and aspire to stay longer with (which I can't, in a few more months' time).

AIESEC taught me humility and timeliness. One of my favourite lines to say to my team of late is how a team leader can perform their best when the time is their prime. There were leaders suitable for certain periods of time, like in ancient China, certain emperors could lead the warring cities, but certain emperors were fit to be kings of peace. If I had been the president a term earlier than mine, I would have probably been unable to shine the best I could, and I would have probably not been able to exert all I can as I am doing now. The realisation came a tad bit late - of all that my predecessor had sacrificed and attained, and only when I'm in the role do I realise how difficult it is to achieve all that he has and had. I can't be him. His strengths were part of my weaknesses that I found better alignment within the team I built later on, and it was defying part of my nature as I inserted some of his strengths into mine to shape the organisation.

AIESEC taught me how to express altruism healthily. The quote "leadership starts with self-leadership" resonated clearer nowadays, as I gradually understand that it is pointless if I lead a team when I'm unable to manage myself healthily. I face burnout phases easily as an intense, creative and altruistic leader. It burns my personal fuel, and I forgot that cars run best at full tank too. Slowly, from learning to seek help to the point I find the importance of having a personal relevance (I highly recommend Simon Sinek's book at this point), the journey took me a year. It was a year-long journey of self-discovery and building a support network, not just within the people I met in the organisation but also as a safety net to tell me when is time to take a break and relapse from the organisation.

AIESEC taught me the power of unending growth and impact. The power of people blatantly reminds me of the importance of a strong network today, with conferences and physical touchpoints flaring up the energy we need to feel as humans. The connection between humans is felt even stronger and clearer as we traverse into the unknown phases with the return of a physical experience for the membership. I like to tell my Executive Board (EB, or my Vice Presidents) that "conference is where the magic happens" and repeatedly stress the importance of physical touchpoints with their team. The feeling, emotions and connections we feel as humans, regardless of the impactor or the impacted, amplifies magnificently when we meet face to face, eye to eye and heart to heart. I believed in it, and the truth didn't disappoint.

"I think that being able to communicate with people is power," said Oprah Winfrey.

For one who was confident in myself to the point I could appear arrogant, this organisation taught me that when it comes to people, the lessons we can learn are limitless. Communication is often tacky for leaders because we don't just think strategy; we have to think people too. The role of a communicator lies heavily on our shoulders, regardless of whether to communicate the thought process of a decision or a brand new idea or to convince when the crowd stands from a different standpoint and perspective. When we learn to communicate, we are plunging ourselves into a different world - a world where the sky is the limit. I appraise the importance of this lesson in AIESEC, and truthfully, where else is better to learn the skill than in the role of a leader, to communicate to those who stand with you, against you, and those who stand as stranger to the stories you believe in?

For all the long three years, they shape a dream in me. Till date, I still think that the organisation is too visionary, but it is with visions like this we are given the opportunity to dream and fight for a future we aspire to see. We are given the quest as youths to kickstart something in our community, so how are we able to make better the story and truly leave a long-lasting impact that will reshape certain futures we intend for? That is a story I still seek to achieve with this organisation. As we grow through the long way, there can be continuous reminders and constant vigilance - there aren't any more reminding alarms like the pandemic to keep us on our feet and remind us of the importance of growth, change and relevance.

Thank you for the dreams. For the people, passion and protection - the platform for us to fail and rebound with a lot of safety and support. If you ever need a place to grow but are unsure what aspects of yourself you need to discover and express, then the time will probably come for you to explore what AIESEC can hold in your growth journey.

Yours AIESECly,

Xiaotian Gan

Local Committee President 22.23

AIESEC in Universiti Malaya.