Conversations in the witching hour

Yes, sleeping late is unhealthy, it ages you and your liver, results in constipation, bad skin breakouts, and a horrible imbalance of hormones (which results in stubborn fats in the tummy and glute, blablabla). Google tells you these too, but I'm writing this because it is the result of my observation of my own health for the past 10 months.

Funnily enough, the organisation that is causing this hadn't given me a good start. I'm probably going to reiterate this story over and over again, that I really did not enjoy the beginning of this journey, but then again, a train ride promises you continuous surprises as long as you decide you'll stop after a few more stations. That's what I did. Instead of stepping down after one station, I continued on for the next few stations. The journey has since been colourful.

Then again, all the colours in the world are often centred in the conversations I have during the witching hour. It may be true that there is something about the 12 to 1 am magic, because here I am, cashing in my youth to type down these words when I should invest in sleep and better skin (and /coughs/ better health). I will put the blame on the spur of inspiration during the witching hour - they are really something else. It is usually this hour where good conversations and heartfelt talks with those I've never seen or touched happened. We've been comrades for the past 10 months or so now, and never once (aside from those few) did we actually met one another, aside from the small boxes of faces I see across my screen (occasionally they're frozen too).

I don't regret the journey (I only regret not fixing my sleeping schedule before beginning the ride). The colours along the way flashed by in hues. There were passionate, motivated days filled with red and orange, where we planned and strategise, debating heatedly for things we believe are better for the options there were in place. There were warm yellow days, where we crack jokes and spend our time over games and fun. There will be days in green that pass by in a blur as we continue the monotonous (yet challenging) routine. Blue days too, those were sad ones, where we sat together and shared our fears and pains; pains that we bear together as a team. Purple days are soft, those were times where we became vulnerable and closer.

I guess there's always those that make those colours shine brighter, and that's probably you. I never really had just ONE reason that resulted in me stepping up to lead the next year and face the unknown myself, but if I were to specify some of those reasons, this would definitely make the top 3; because I found myself a best friend and a home, hence I wished people can meet like-minded souls here as well. My dear, like-minded soul, you inspire my words because you spoke of how you appreciated the fact I stood strong with you in our frustrating search for a house. It may be just one too many loving words of yours, but this time around, it ignited a spark for me, and I guess I really want to share this out.

The first time I decided I want to be friends with you was during the elections. We weren't even elected, and I was just, going through your package. You moved me, in a way, with your sincerity and authenticity. I guess that was what made it, and the journey from there on was history. We became close, real fast. There were those days you left me on an anxious peak by throwing down that weird statement and leaving me in fits. There were those vulnerable nights we shared, there were those weird passions we have, and there were those motivations that we gave one another. Who knows, we became each other's muse.

You like to say I inspire you to do a lot of things, and I am very persuasive when I speak about things I truly believe in. I probably rarely said it, but without you, the journey would have lost so much of its sparkle. It's undeniable that everyone else played a part in colouring it, but you made it huge by sharing the trust and support I have for you. I told you of how I despised unjust, of how one big reason why the organisation attracted me was its transparency. I told you how I felt lost and adrift. I couldn't find the one foothold, but you told me it was okay to soar before finding the grounds because you will be the one to hold me down. You made me see how fears mean so less when love is big in the air.

My dear, best friend; I expected myself to walk away from the experience with a bunch of good friends, but never did I expect myself to walk away (/coughs/ the journey is still ongoing) with so much more; with another like-minded soul. Funny enough, it became harder to put trust in people despite the number of midnight conversations I have with so many in the world. You became an exception in this 21st year of my life; where I felt lost and confined, you tend to change my mind to show me how huge the world is.

There's still 4 more months before you end your journey and I proceed with mine with a new team to continue the fire, and I want you to know that in the remaining four months, I will still be that support you need, and the bubble of fire to fuel your tough times and breakdowns. It won't be easy without you around next year, but then again, you're never really "not around" aren't you?

Those conversations in the witching hour carry magic; they call it truth, but I'll just group it into the unexplainable because even hearts draw closer than ever.

Whenever night falls, my thoughts become more unstructured than ever, but they come from the bottom of my heart - to the confidante I couldn't have hoped for a better.

-x-

(just another, midnight rambling)