#1 Thoughts : The patriarchal society we live in

This is a piece I should have long written, but with work weighing down my daily schedule, I’ve pushed all the ideas back - until recently, the sexual exploitation case in South Korea that raged global community came into limelight. To be fair, I won’t comment too much about what happened in the country; I’m not a professional journalist nor am I exceptionally well-read on the issue. The summary of the entire case goes by having Telegram chat rooms being operated by a team of men with more than 260,000 paid subscribers. In the chat rooms, explicit videos and posts of women being sexually abused and exploited without their consent was posted - and the crimes were more than cruel. It is down right sinister and inhumane (more can be read on online news portals)

In line with the issue, here’s a little story I have to share with all of you. Growing up in a conventional Chinese family, my parents have always been strict on how my sister and I dress up as we grow older. They made sure that our shorts weren’t too short, our tops weren’t too revealing, and our dresses were modest. When I was younger, my parents even pushed me into taking up Taekwondo classes; and now that I’m living alone in the capital city, they had me bringing all sorts of random self-defence gears and tools with me as I go about.

I’m not complaining, but here’s the catch; even to the elders, girls are always responsible of their own safety - to avoid revealing clothes, to take care of their mannerisms, to watch their behaviour just so that we can avoid unwanted attention. Of course, coming from an all-girls school, I can never be that prim and proper, modest and gentle Chinese girl that my mum aspires for me to be. Sometimes (Sometimes) I can get a bit too tomboyish, which earns me disapproving glares from my parents (of which I’ve long learned how to ignore).

Digressing, do you see the problem? Girls are the ones to be taught to “dress properly” and “behave like a girl”. Girls are the ones to be taught to “watch how you sit” and “don’t walk alone on lonely roads”. Young girls, are taught since young that they have to be responsible for all their actions; that if they attract unwanted attention, it is all because of how they dress and behave. Of course, there’s no wrong in grooming your daughters so that they grow into fine your ladies, but they should be aware that they shouldn’t be place at full responsibility to prevent themselves from being subjects of irrational men controlled by their lust and greed.

Sexual exploitation can happen to anyone. Men or women, boy or girl; anyone can be a potential victim in a world like ours today. The female sex is less dominant by nature in regards to strength and power - which makes us an easier prey for predators lurking to seek out the next victim to subject to their sickly cause. However, we see how society function with an orthodox mindset that has been planted in everyone’s mind ever since young; that ladies have to be taught to protect themselves; and less is given in educating young boys on grooming them into men who will think to protect their less powerful counterparts. Rarely will families see to plant the seed of respecting women in men; moreover in majority of Asian families, there is always the ideal of patriarchy dominance in the community.

Of course, as we progress into a more modernised society, we see better changes. Girls are given fairer chances and opportunities in organisations; parents no longer fall biased to the male gender. We are regarded as equals - however slow and small the changes might be, there still is an improvement. However, more needs to be done.

The young should be taught that no other human being is to be objectified or to fall as a conquest for another. Women shouldn’t be the one responsible of protecting themselves from rape cases; why not we teach the young boys in our community to start treating the opposite gender with respect and care? The mindset of women who thinks of themselves less than that to the opposite gender, the thoughts planted in older generations being passed on till today - all of that needs to be changed.

If we want a better and stronger world; who are we to command for such growth if it doesn’t start from within ourselves?

(My thoughts aren’t really structured because everything is a mess right now, especially when topics on feminism arise. Hence my words may sound much more than I intend them to - but I’m not gonna apologise for that)

-x-

A summary of the Nth Room Scandal in South Korea courtesy of BBC News:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-52030219