The best of friends

When I was younger I recall being absolutely enraptured with the colours and warmth of festival celebrations back in my hometown. Growing up in a small town located at the borders of Johor and Malacca, the festivities have always been exceptionally vibrant, with the multitude of colours as each ethnic group celebrates their own culture. Growing older, these seasonal sentiments have become something I look forward to as I made friends with people of different races and got myself much more immersed in their culture and food as festivities progressed. Malaysia is a country unlike any other, because it is in her land I experience culture-exchange like never before. It is in her land I grow up to be a trilingual, and it is in her land I grow up being the best of friends with a person of different ethnic, and hence, learned tolerance and acceptance in a way many could not.

Hafizah and I knew each other through our weekly Taekwondo lessons in primary school. We were children, at a mere tender age of 7, and we became fast friends when we found out that our homes are in the same neighbourhood. Friendships between children is different of those between adults, because while adults have to consider and weigh the consequences of being friends with someone, friendship between kids merely consist of the fact whether they like each other or not. There wasn’t much of racial differences back in primary school, where everyone was friends with everyone. Our friendship blossomed in that environment, where we would carpool to and fro from school, with her parents doting me like their own as I often arrive at my doorsteps with a bag of putu piring in a hand and hints of laughter still visible on my sweaty face as the aftermath of laughing too much in her car. Our mothers became close friends, and it didn’t take too long for both our families to get to know each other and remain closely-knitted throughout the years.

A tradition started when the both of us went our separate ways into different secondary school, myself to the sister school of our primary school and her to an MRSM boarding school in Malacca. Both our parents sparked a tradition whereby they would travel down to my home in Johor for a visit on the first day of Chinese New Year, and recently, my parents would bring me to Hafizah’s hometown to experience the Hari Raya celebrations in their traditional house and savour their delicacies. I can never forget the experience celebrating the festival at her place, where we escaped the adults and sat at the wooden veranda, exchanging heartfelt thoughts under the night skies. I remember the details, the crickets cricked and the fireworks exploded in distance, with the faint smell of the night mist coming in every alternate second. The beauty of it all was the fact that my siblings and her younger brother matched well and while I catch up with all I’ve missed through the half-year gap of not meeting up with my best friend, the younger ones have their fun running around her hometown, playing catch with her neighbours, and yes, even joined her cousins to light up the fireworks.

Throughout our friendship, what touched me the most was the fact her parents treated me like their own daughter and my parents did exactly the same. They often introduced me to curious mamak stall owners as their anak angkat, and my parents did just the same when locals raised an eyebrow at the Hafizah’s presence together with our family. These are all minor details, but I never cease to remain amaze at the effect our friendship has on both our families. When I asked my mother if she felt uncomfortable introducing Hafizah as her daughter, she merely laughed and said, “We’re all Malaysians. There’s not much difference!”

It has never occurred to me that I can be this close and understanding with a friend of a different race, up to the point we have trips planned and understood each others’ pains and whims. Malaysia has given me the chance to experience culture unlike any other. She has given me a chaperone who understands not only the best part of her culture, but recognizes the aspects that would perk my interest up. A best friend like Hafizah can only be found in Malaysia, and a friendship like ours can only blossom and grow strong in a nation like ours. I am proud to have a friend like Hafizah, but more importantly, proud to be able to experience this friendship in a tolerant nation like ours. It has been 10 years since we became best friends, and it is amazing to know that our friendship is a definite among all the uncertainties in the future; all thanks to you, Malaysia!

This article was published in the Newspaper in Education (NIE) pullout by The Star Newspaper dated 29 August 2018