Young and in love

THE schooling years are not only a time for learning but also a time for social interaction to take place. For some boys and girls, they take their friendships up a notch by seeing each other as that “special someone”.

When Teoh Fu Xiang met Jessie Heng in 2015 through a mutual friend, they were only 15 years old and attended separate mission schools. Their relationship did not blossom until early 2016 when Teoh convinced Heng to date him.

To test their compatibility, Heng asked Teoh to locate her in a shopping complex, with only a subtle hint in a note as a clue. She told Teoh that if he managed to find her, they would start dating.

Teoh’s wish was fulfilled when he successfully found a chuckling Heng at the designated spot. But their early dating days did not start off with a bang – instead, they were literally filled with silence.

“She wasn’t talkative and I was really shy back then. I made sure everything was planned out before our dates, so that we didn’t have to talk,” Teoh shared. Despite that, they were open about their relationship with their family members.

Just two weeks after starting out as a couple, Teoh – who believes that family support is important in sustaining a relationship – let his family in on his new “status”. While he faced no objections from his parents, things didn’t go as well for Heng.

Her father approved of Teoh, even inviting him to a hiking expedition, but her mother took a year to accept Teoh.

“My mother is very protective of me. She was hesitant because she was worried that Teoh might be fooling around,” Heng explained.

Despite attending different schools, the young lovebirds had many opportunities to see each other. They signed up for the same tuition classes, often carpooled and went out on dates after school.

Currently in their third year together, the 19-year-olds are charting unfamiliar territory. Teoh has left their hometown to pursue a diploma course in Kuala Lumpur while Heng remains in Melaka to continue her studies as a Form Six student. This means seeing less of each other but they are adamant to make it work.

“I won’t make empty promises. We have come this far, and we definitely want each other in our future. We will work hard to make it possible,” Teoh said.

In a class of their own

Lennon Tan and Esther Ng, both 20, started off as classmates in Form Four. Out of mischief, Lennon once pasted sticky notes on Esther’s ponytail but was surprised when his actions went unnoticed by the “quiet and innocent” girl sitting a desk away from his.

It was in Form Five that they grew closer through their participation in a talent show. After the event, the two avid Snapchat users began sending memes to each other through the application.

Lennon also took it upon himself to guide her in chemistry, providing an opportunity for them to go out on study dates as the SPM examination drew nearer.

“I confessed my feelings to her on my birthday in December 2016. It was easier to remember because I’m really not good with dates,” he said, laughing.

From the outset, Lennon’s parents were receptive about their relationship; his mother even connected with Esther on social media. Esther’s mother, however, has her reservations still; it is an ongoing struggle as the young adults seek to work things out.

Currently, the Melaka natives are studying in different tertiary institutions in Kuala Lumpur. They stay in an apartment which they share with a few other students.

On other challenges they have faced as a young couple, Lennon revealed, “We have different perspectives on spending quality time together. There are times when Esther feels I spend too much time with my friends.”

The couple admitted that they still have a lot to learn, one of which is to deal with having a long-distance relationship, as Lennon has set his sights on furthering his studies in the United Kingdom.

United through sports

For Ashrafiq Sani and Alexandra Martin, it was their common interest in sports that drew them together, first as friends, then a couple.

The 21-year-olds first got acquainted at a bowling tournament in 2014 which Alexandra helped to organise and Ashrafiq signed up as a participant. A jogging date later, they became close friends.

Although interested in each other, they were wary of ruining the status quo and agreed to only be best friends. It was not until after a movie date that they decided to take the plunge.

The decision was particularly hard for the then 16-year-old Alexandra as she and Ashrafiq come from different religious backgrounds. She revealed that she even broke down many times because of her concern. It was then that her mother reached out to her.

“My mother told me to do what I believed was right for me. After our talk, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest because as long as my mother supports me, nothing else matters,” Alexandra said. Ashrafiq and Alexandra are pursuing a diploma course in the same college. They are also involved in an e-sports business which Ashrafiq has set up. Alexandra helps out with the paperwork and the administration.

They have plans to continue their tertiary studies abroad upon graduation from their diploma programme. Alexandra will be taking up a course in Singapore while Ashrafiq will be completing his degree in Europe.

“We want to see how much we can grow individually. We’ve always been together, from studying in high school and now in college, and running the business. We also spend rest days together. I mean, we enjoy each other’s company, but we want to see how far we can grow, independently,” Ashrafiq said.

This article was published on the Newspaper in Education (NIE) pullout by The Star Newspaper dated 23 January 2019